To this you were called, because Christ suffered for you, leaving you an example, that you should follow in his steps. ~ 1 Peter 2:21 (NIV; emphasis mine)
I walked the grocery store this week needing some items to smoke some meat this weekend. It surprised me the number of young people in the store portraying gender dysphoria. If you do not know, gender dysphoria is the more recent term for “gender identity disorder,” and before that, “transsexualism.” The change in terms over the years by secular licensed counselors and advocates attempted to reduce the stigma related to the individual’s lifestyle.[1] Nonetheless, gender dysphoria is “an emotional conflict between one’s created biological gender (i.e., male or female) and strong feelings of identification with the opposite gender.”[2] This observation made me aware that I do not live in the protective bubble of small-town, Bible-belt, rural America. Issues like this are not relegated to large cities and west coast culture. It is a growing trend that Christians must be prepared to address, including Christian parents, grandparents, and the local covenant church family.
You might ask, how is the trend growing? WORLD News reports that gender-neutral legislation is presented in communities and states continuously.[3] Closer to home, The Post and Courier reported that the city of Columbia, South Carolina, passed an ordinance on June 15, 2021, to ban conversion therapy by licensed counselors. And if they fail to abide, a $500 fine will be enforced. Its council members also passed a resolution for state lawmakers to ban conversion therapy.[4] Fortunately, our state lawmakers did not take the bait and went the opposite direction and presented Bill H.4716, “Youth Gender Reassignment Act,” that the South Carolina General Assembly has before one of its committees.[5]
With the political spectrum, LGBTQ+ agenda; Hollywood, television, and social media influences; and many school districts indoctrinating children and allowing gender dysphoria, I guarantee that we know someone struggling with this issue. I want to help you to biblically think through what God tells us about gender dysphoria and how to respond to those we love.
First, we need to gain a biblical perspective about what is happening within the soul of our loved ones. Contrary to popular opinion and public perception, gender dysphoria is not a mental disorder. At the very least, it is the individual confusing feelings and emotions. Most people who struggle with this issue present sinful desires contrary to God’s creative order and reject Scriptural truths. The individual does not believe that God is wise (Isa. 40:28; James 3:17) and good (Psa. 34:8, Rom. 8:28) in creating them precisely as they are. Nor do they believe that God is sovereign and never makes mistakes (Psa. 18:30; Matt. 5:48).
A beneficial place to start is the biblical concept of God’s creation of only two genders. One may begin with Genesis one and discuss with their friend or family member that God created two genders, male and female, and a person is one or the other. They are the gender that God assigned them, and that is that. The premise of this is good because the first two chapters of Genesis set up the framework for the background of what is right and wrong. However, many people do not think in black-and-white terms only.
David Powlison offers a different strategy. Instead of pushing the attack with a black-and-white issue, the exploration should be the conviction of the person’s heart. When we follow this strategy, we disciple the person showing them that the heart is fallen and misconstrues who the person thinks they are. We help them understand the Romans one concept that fallen human natures suppress the knowledge of God. Therefore, the corollary anthropological implication of who the person really is, i.e., the person’s identity, is an image bearer of God and not a person of the opposite sex.[6]
Another thought to help parents and grandparents of gender dysphoric children is not to be afraid (Deut. 31:6) and put your trust in God (Psa. 56:3-4). You must remember God has given you the privilege and responsibility to parent your children (Deut. 6:6-9; Eph. 6:1-4; Titus 2:7). Although this is no small task, parenting in this context means several things, and the most important is to be the parent. Heath Lambert offers the same point when he states: “We need to be the people who are telling our children how to live and how to grow up into adulthood. Parents have to be parents. We have to tell our kids how to grow and mature. We do not let our children’s desires rule the day when they say, ‘I want to go play in traffic’ or ‘I want to jump off the top of the house’ or ‘I want to be disrespectful to the neighbors.’ We parent them; we train them up in the way that they should go.”[7]
A final thought is that as we address people struggling with gender dysphoria, we must not only offer biblical instruction but must be present in love by entering the struggle with the person just as Jesus does with his covenant children (1 Pet. 2:21).[8] I do not mean we tolerate the person’s sin. The world’s wisdom tells us that “you must love them as they are. They want to be accepted, and you must accept their lifestyle.” No, we don’t. Entering their struggle with them means we help them but do not accept their life choice. It means we must enter God’s presence with the person through prayers of faith (Eph. 3:12; Phil. 4:6-7; Mark 6:5-6). And it means we must always wear grace on one sleeve and truth on the other when loving people with gender dysphoria (John 1:14).
[1] “Gender Dysphoria Diagnosis,” American Psychiatric Association., accessed on October 03, 2022, https://www.psychiatry.org/psychiatrists/cultural-competency/education/transgender-and-gender-nonconforming-patients/gender-dysphoria-diagnosis.
[2] Marshall and Mary Asher, The Christian’s Guide to Psychological Terms (Bemidji, MN: Focus Publishing. 2004) 77.
[3] Kiley Crossland and Joel Maas, “Therapy Bans and Trans Regret: As More States Move to Restrict Christian Counselors, More People Say They Regret Their Gender Transitions,” WORLD News (e-news), January 11, 2019, https://wng.org/roundups/therapy-bans-and-trans-regret-1617226954.
[4] Stephen Fastenau, “Columbia Bans Conversion Therapy, Asks State Lawmakers to Do the Same,” The Post and Courier (e-paper), June 15, 2021, https://www.postandcourier.com /columbia/news/columbia-bans-conversion-therapy-asks-state-lawmakers-to-do-the-same/article_26f16c44-cdfe-11eb-a416-af16ca7ae1df.html. It should be noted that the Associated Press picked up the story and its report can be found here, https://apnews.com/article/sc-state-wire-columbia-a9ce85f899fedba4eef96190b1ee66b8.
[5] South Carolina, General Assembly, Youth Gender Reassignment Prevention Act. H.4716, 123rd Session, 2019-2020, document path: 1:\council\bills\cc\15638vr20.docx, version 11/20/2019, https://www.scstatehouse.gov/sess123_2019-2020/bills/4716.htm.
[6] David Powlison and Alasdair Groves, “Gender Identity,” podcast-transcript, February 7, 2017, Christian Counseling and Educational Foundation On the Go, https://www.ccef.org/podcast/gender-identity/. Powlison and Groves also give a prudent discussion that one’s starting place when dealing with a Christian struggling with gender dysphoria is Ephesians six because there are twenty or thirty different identity statements that are God-referential. This can be an immense help for parents to go through Ephesians during family worship and disciple and discuss with their children what their identity really is when they are Christ’s.
[7] Heath Lambert and Amy Evenson, “What Should I Do When My Young Son Wants to Become a Girl?,” September 14, 2015, Association of Certified Biblical Counselors podcast Truth In Love. https://biblicalcounseling.com/resource-library/podcast-episodes/til-015-what-should-i-do-when-my-young-son-wants-to-become-a-girl/
[8] Anna Mondale, “Counseling Gender-Questioning Teens (Part 1),” Biblical Counseling Coalition (blog), January 8, 2020, https://www.biblicalcounselingcoalition.org/2020/01/08/ counseling-gender-questioning-teens-part-1/.
Andrews PCA 