Instead, speaking the truth in love, we will grow to become in every respect the mature body of him who is the head, that is, Christ. ~ Ephesians 4:15
As believers, we know love is the foundational cornerstone of “one anothering” (John 13:34). Paul lists it as the highest virtue in the love chapter of 1 Corinthian 13 when he states, “And now these three remain: faith, hope, and love. But the greatest of these is love” (1 Cor. 13:13). And Jesus tells us loving others is the second greatest commandment, “The second is this: ‘You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’ There is no other commandment greater than these” (Mark 12:31). To raise the bar higher, He states that we should love our enemies proving we are children of God (Matt. 5:43-48).
Yes, love is indeed the foundational cornerstone of living a Christian life in Christ. Love must exude every fiber of our being. We all agree that we should love people. We do not dispute Jesus telling us loving our enemies proves that we are in a covenant relationship with God. The vertical relationship influences horizontal relationships (Rom. 8:12-13; Gal. 5:16-25). It may be hard at times, but we know loving neighbors and enemies is a godly person’s life. We might even claim that our actions show others our love for them by misapplying James 2:18 and misquoting St. Francis of Assisi, “Preach the Gospel and if necessary, use words.”[1]
You may want to read that last sentence again. Here is where Christians often get sideways. Let me demonstrate with some examples. A miscommunication arises with our spouse. We fly off the handle and say some disrespectful things to them. Their feelings are badly hurt, but we excuse ourselves: “They know I love them because I clean our toilet, and they know I hate cleaning toilets. But I do it for them because I love them.”
Another example might be we curtly tell our children they are “fat” and “need to lose weight.” Although it may be true that they need to get back to a healthy weight because we love them, our harsh tone creates a self-critical complex and low self-esteem. Finally, the literal neighbor that is next door keeps putting their trash in your trashcan. Like a good hypocrite, you smile at them most days, but today was the last straw, giving them a piece of your mind.
The above examples show us that preaching the Gospel is more than action. Preaching the Gospel does include words. There is action in speaking truth in love. Talking to others with loving words and a loving tone is just as important as washing our spouse’s car after a conflict when we made them cry by calling them names. Our criticisms and “good-natured” (notice the sarcasm quotes there) humor to make a point should not be a part of the Covenant Child’s arsenal. Constructive criticism is not a thing. There is nothing constructive about criticism. Paul puts it plainly in 1 Thessalonians 5:11, “Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.” And again, in Romans 1:11-12, “I long to see you so that I may impart to you some spiritual gift to make you strong— that is, that you and I may be mutually encouraged by each other’s faith.” Constructively criticizing someone constructively tears them down, not build them up.
Samuel Rutherford (1600-1601) inspired this week’s post. Rutherford was a Scottish Presbyterian pastor. He served his parishes and St. Mary’s College, St. Andrews well. And he served as one of the few Divines as a Scottish Commissioner to the Westminster Assembly (1643-1653).[2] As I do from time to time, I recently read some of his letters and ran across this letter to his friend, John Henderson, in Rusco.[3] Read the address and first few sentences of the introduction:
Loving Friend, I earnestly desire your salvation. Know the Lord and seek Christ. You have a soul that cannot die: see for a lodging to your poor soul; for that house of clay will fall. Heaven or nothing! either Christ or nothing! Use prayer in your house, and set your thoughts often upon death and judgment. It is dangerous to be loose in the matter of your salvation. Few are saved; men go to heaven in ones and twos, and the whole world lieth in sin. Love your enemies and stand by the truth which I have taught you, in all things….[4]
Rutherford provides a solid example of how to speak the truth in love. Notice he exhibits what Paul teaches, which is not only to speak truth but to carry out that speech in a loving manner. This is a recipe for maximizing the Body of Christ’s spiritual (and possibly numerical) growth. By speaking truth in love, doctrinal error is protected, the right spirit emanates, and unity in Christ transpired. Indeed, Paul’s lesson and Rutherford’s example should inspire us to speak truth in love.
[1] Glenn Stanton wrote a short and helpful article on this at The Gospel Coalition, “Factchecker: Misquoting Francis of Assisi.” Accessed on July 19, 2022, at 10:49 AM. https://www.thegospelcoalition.org/article/factchecker-misquoting-francis-of-assisi/
[2] The Banner of Truth has a nice synopsis of Rutherford’s life on their website. Accessed on July 19, 2022, at 11:26 AM. https://banneroftruth.org/us/about/banner-authors/samuel-rutherford/
[3] Ibid., 407.
[4] Ibid.
Andrews PCA 